Number Twenty Two : Turn your phone into a ticking bomb...

New! Quick and easy way to completely remove any possibility of you completing any work ALL DAY! Follow these three easy steps and YOU TOO can be transformed into a gibbering emotional wreck, incapable of going more than 2 minutes at a time without checking your phone, or jumping every time you hear - or feel - something which you THINK is your phone!

The ingredients are simple:

1) Take one perfectly standard day
2) Add a dose of alcohol/melancholy/bloodymindedness
3) Throw a mobile phone into the mix, preferably one with predictive text which can magically mangle anything you write and add a sporadic dose of ambiguity
4) Choose one contact from your address book to whom you wish to say something you have wanted to for some time (but probably haven't, with very good reason)
5) Offload your heart's troubles via the magic of SMS - NOTE: this may take more than the standard 160 characters (including spaces)
6) Send
7) Wait
8) Wait
9) Wait
10) Wait.....
11) W a i t . . . . .

Notice how sensitive your heart becomes? Don't you feel SO MUCH BETTER that you did got that off your chest?

*NEWER* *IMPROVED-ER* Also available via email! Watch how your brain starts ACTUALLY HALLUCINATING that you've received a message. Isn't the human emotional condition a marvelous thing?

Enjoy.